Here Speeching American

Check out these actual signs from around the world in "beginner's English." [Government warning: do not read this page while consuming a beverage.]

Bangkok dry cleaner: Drop your trousers here for best results.

Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin

Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking

Hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 a.m. daily.

Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In a Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts

Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

Hong Kong dress shop: Ladies have fits upstairs.

East African newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.

Advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours -- we guarantee no miscarriages.

Detour sign in Japan: Stop. Drive sideways.

Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass?

Austrian hotel for skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.

Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.

Copenhagen airline office: We take your bags and send them in all directions.

Majorcan shop entrance: Here speeching American

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